[D&D 40th Anniversary Bloghop] Day Twenty-three

Day Twenty-three: First song that comes to mind that you associate with D&D. Why?

Easy.

Hotel California, by the Eagles, 1977.

If you have to ask why... c'mon, have you never LISTENED to the lyrics? I know, I know, Don Henley has claimed that the song was an "interpretation of the high life in Los Angeles" and that "It's basically a song about the dark underbelly of the American dream and about excess in America." All that symbolism aside, I still say:

Why has no one written an adventure based on Hotel California?!?

Let's take a quick look at the obvious: you have an adventurer, traveling in the dark. He sees a light in the distance, and immediately becomes sleepy. We have a mysterious woman whose motives are unclear who welcomes him into the house by candlelight. Charm spell, anyone? Once inside, he hears voices. Ghosts? Undead? Captives? Minions? Who knows?

This mysterious woman--Tiffany--has a bunch of boy toys pretty boys thralls in the courtyard, dancing. Honestly, some of them may actually be zombies, too. I can see in my mind both kinds: the thralls are in the middle of the courtyard, ball-room dancing while the zombies are around the edges, perhaps a few interspersed in the crowd, and every day they're shuffling, shuffling, shuffling. (I couldn't resist.)

Now, the idea that you entered the building willingly takes on a particularly dark and sinister note, doesn't it?

The hero asks for provisions, without any luck. And then, the voices come back, and loud enough to wake you up in the night. As you wander around investigating the building, you find garish, tacky, or out-of-date decor: mirrored ceilings, although despite the lyrics I always see them as a room of mirrors, like in the funhouse; fancy, cloying food and drink; and prisoners, but possibly willing prisoners. Maybe they're more thralls, maybe some of them are merely kept for occasional "snacks."

Then you find yourself in the "master's chambers." Perhaps Tiffany isn't the BBEG after all.... Whoever IS master, however, has a beast of some kind chained in his chambers. All of the thralls and his other subjects have gathered there for a ritual sacrifice: The Feast. No matter what they do to it, it will not die. Perhaps it's troll-kin. Perhaps they have a resident cleric who waits until the creature is on the verge of death and who then heals it back to normal. Whatever it is, the ritual is sufficient to cause the adventurer to run, nearly senseless, for the front door.

Only now he finds that there is no front door. The entire building is a trap. And the evil butler, himself likely a mid-level vampire, tells him that he can "check out" at any time, but cannot leave the building. He can die at any time, but he cannot escape.

Now you tell me.... Why would I possibly associate this song with D&D, hmmm? `

"Up ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering light. My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim; I had to stop for the night."