[From the Mailbag] Post-Vacation Embarassment of Riches

Well, I went away for a week--far away from cell service, land line service, internet service. It was restful. Utterly restful. Gamed a bit with my family (game report in process). Read a bit. Slept a bit. All in all a very, very restful week.

It made coming back to the office dreadfully miserable.

But, oh! What was waiting for me when I got home. The neighbor collecting our mail commented on the number of packages and hand-addressed envelopes I received. I guess all they ever get is bills and shopping mailers.

Here's what made last weekend terrific. Sorry for the bad photo, but I wanted to get everything in one shot.

Going from left to right:

• A buddy of mine came across some duplicate 3.x titles from "his source" and passed along his extras to me: A Pathfinder module named Guardians of Dragonfall. Also a Pathfinder sourcebook entitled Tombs of Golarion--because one can never have too many tombs or ill-meaning NPCs. A CD, released with Dungeon #87 that includes the first issue of Dungeon as well as some bonus adventures and other stuff. Then there's a Paizo-produced map of the Sleeping Dragon Inn. You may recall I already have a copy of this, but it's gone missing, so I welcomed the new copy.
• Then there's the latest two creature postcards from +Jim Magnusson. As usual, these are gorgeous and creepy. If you aren't already a patron of his, you should be. Rectify that. Soon.
• Up top were some duplicate WotC miniatures, also from that great friend of mine. These are the Blackroot Treant from the Against the Giants set (my collection's first treant) and the Flesh Golem from the Night Below set.
• The July Mythoard arrived as well: no dice or miniature this time, but almost as good--some fire counters from Advanced Deployment and a stack of coaster-dungeonmorphs, and a d12 table of NPC names on a business card (thanks, +Jarrod Shaw, et al.). Also included is a copy of Ancient Odysseys: Treasure Awaits! (an introductory RPG), a copy of Issue #5 of the Undercroft 'zine (thanks +Daniel Sell), another binder-ready locale/NPC, a copy of The Red Mausoleum module from Expeditious Press, and a copy of a Judges Guild adventure, Rat on a Stick. 
• Next to the miniatures are the latest Patreon rewards from the great and incomparable +Tim Shorts. Again, he fails to disappoint. A medieval crypt and a futuristic sci-fi patrol scenario. Great maps, great substance, and laminated for dry-erase or Mountain Dew repellant qualities. If you have ever enjoyed an issue of The Manor 'zine and haven't yet signed up for his Patreon account, get over there and do it now.
• 
  And the gifts continued after the weekend. When Monday's mail arrived, I found another great postcard map from +Simon Forster. This time a two-room main floor building surrounded by idyllic trees. The basement of the building is filed with surprises, including an attached cavern room. I always love getting these postcards; they are, to be honest, the main inspiration behind my own mail-maps that I've been sending out to Stronghold 'zine customers. These are great little locales just crying out for some dungeon-stocking, awaiting a drop-in into your campaign as a side-quest or random encounter. If you haven't signed up on Patreon to support Simon, well...see the above-pro-Patreon-support exhortations and feel a bit guilty, OK? Then go to Patreon and start clicking to support these fine gentleman artists!

Speaking of mail-maps, I suppose I'm well overdue to pay a Joesky tax. So, I present to you the following mail-map that went out to +Jason Zavoda. As I imagined it, it's a shrine built into the side of a cliff. The shrine has an attached chapel area, with a passageway down to an altar/contemplation pool. Then a little trapped hallway (see the inset for the pit trap side-view) leading into the cult's treasure room. But use it how you will; it's free for your use. As always, if you use it, drop me a line to tell me where and how it went.

The Shrine of Adovaz!

[The Stronghold 'Zine] The Countdown Begins to #2

That's right, boys and girls. I'm officially starting the countdown to Issue #2 of The Stronghold 'Zine. I'm just waiting on one more piece of artwork and one more bit of info to finish up an article, then it's Foreword and Table of Contents time.

After that, it's a trip to the office supply store for a new color of cardstock for the cover.

Then the fun begins anew.

What's in store? Well, let's see.... Where's my draft ToC?

O.K. First, we've got some stats for three new critters; one of these is friendly, one can be friendly, and one is...erm...not so much.

There's a new locale, with a new map. Two of the critters are also associated with the locale, as is the new NPC I've included. In addition to the statted critters, there are nearly a dozen-and-a-half new and system neutral critters described. There's another installment of system-neutral random treasure tables included; these can be used with the locale as well as your own setting.

NOT associated with the locale are a series of new wondrous magic items; these are fairly system-neutral as well. And finally, even though the random nose-picking article was not a big hit with some readers last issue, my philosophy is that every game needs a little bit of humor. Accordingly, and due to the joint fault of +Tim Shorts and +Jason Zavoda, there's another useful (I think) set of random tables to add a little bit of humor and ...erm... flavor to your game.

Keep watching for the roll-out announcement and purchase links to be coming soon!

Wherein the Effects of Unfortunate Pizza are Experienced

I have to admit that some of my best ideas are the fault of Tim Shorts over at Gothridge Manor. Today's is no exception. Over on Google+ he mentioned he'd had leftover pizza for lunch. It was good enough, apparently, to be "stat-worthy"...if he hadn't eaten it all. He followed that up with a list of XP awards, as follows.

I'm gonna go with 25xp per slice. And additional 50xp if you can eat the whole pizza in one setting. However you'll need to make a save vs. heartburn. [Aside: for my PF/3.x readers, I'd suggest a Fortitude Save, DC 16. End aside.] A failure means you'll have a -1 on your rolls when interacting with others.

Then Mr. Jason Zavoda (from Hall of the Mountain King) provided the kicker: If you fumble you have to roll on the flatulence table.

Well, how could I let that gauntlet lay untouched on the ground? Answer: I couldn't, not without bringing great shame to the OSR Blogging Community at large.

And so I present to you: The Flatulence Table: (Note: roll once on each table for each failed save.)

Flatulence Table 1: Severity

d20 Roll	Area of Effect	Description
1-3	Silent But Deadly	Completely silent, but oh, so potent.
4-6	Mousey	Nothing but a little squeak. Sounds like a shoe with a bad sole.
7-12	Flapper	There’s some flapping cheekage. Sounds a little moist.
13-15	Trumpet	Proud, triumphant. Heraldic, even. Nothing to be ashamed of.
16–18	Elephantine	Trumpet, but more so. Worthy of a grass-fed giant mammal.
19-20	Weapon of Mass Destruction	The truly epic, in all respects: sound, smell, and yes--taste.

Flatulence Table 2: Side Effect

d6 Roll	Side Effect
1-2	Gas only. No effect.
3-5	Shart. A little s**t, a little fart.
6	Total Trouser Betrayal.

For Area of Effect: roll 1d20 x 5' for each occurrence.

As usual, free for your use. Just drop me a note to let me if and how you used it, and to what effect.