[Found Items] Thrift Store Swords and Starships!

OK. I need to brag.

On a whim I stopped by the local thrift store on the way home tonight. Occasionally they'll have bags of Lego bricks (I've found a few bags of miscellaneous pieces; my son found an entire 10" tall Bionicle warrior once...and most recently an Imperial TIE Defender...missing only one piece and the pilot) or perfectly serviceable Nerf dart guns. I rarely look at the book section because it's dominated with either Stephen King titles that I already have or Harlequin romances.

Tonight? No Lego bricks, although there was a large bag of fake MegaBlok knock-offs that I passed over. Decided to wander through the books and videos, hoping to find a copy of Labyrinth somewhere. No luck on that, but the minuscule Sci-Fi/Fantasy section had a bit of a treasure.

Picked up all six of these titles for a total of $7.50, including tax. Books 1–3 of the Mageworld Saga by Debra Doyle & James D. McDonald and the three Books of the Sword by Fred Saberhagen.

Now, I've had the Mageworld Saga for years, and found copies of the first two Books of the Sword a couple years ago at a Convention. My Mageworld copies are pretty ragged, even with as careful as I am with books, they've been read and re-read—They're quite well-loved, actually. And my Saberhagens saw much better days years before I picked them up. They're pretty ragged; I only picked them up because I'd been looking for them for a couple years.

I wanted secondary copies of these, of course. But even better—aside from the price—was the fact that these 6 books are pristine. They don't look like they've ever been opened; admittedly, The First Book of Swords has a bit of a spine-crease and the front cover of The Second Book of Swords has some ink transfer on it. Apparently, a National Geographic Society membership card from 1990 (which was stuck to the cover) will adhere to—and the ink transfer to—a book cover if left pressed against it long enough.

If you've never read the Mageworld Saga, I'd highly recommend it. A ripping good space opera series, with a good bit of action and a nice helping of magic added in...good stuff. The Saberhagen also comes highly recommended; I enjoyed the first book and the others have been working their way to the top of my "To Read" pile.

This just five days after getting a neat little haul from a downtown used book store, the largest one in the state. Dropped in with my wife while walking to my office holiday party (yeah, a post-New Year's Christmas party). It's a dangerous place, because I could literally spend hundreds of dollars there if I was allowed to do so.

I've always wanted to read Asprin's "Myth" books and was pleasantly surprised to find a 2-in-1 copy. The Face of a Stranger is a great Victorian mystery (an English detective wakes up in the hospital with a bad case of amnesia, and must discover his own identity while solving an important case involving the nobility). And a neat-looking little mystery from Isaac Asimov that I'm looking forward to reading.

All told, I'm pleased with my finds this past week; it's been a long time since I've been quite so lucky with great books for my library.

And just so I don't run afoul of the Joesky tax, here's a quick little random d20 table of books (and things stuck inside them) that you might find in that mage's dusty old library—hooks and idea germs for encounters, adventures, or campaigns:

d20 Roll	Title
1	The Everyday Application of Novel Divination
2	The Axe: A Tutorial
3	Heretics Opposing the Fire God
4	The Storm God's Invocations
5	The Minor Powers of the Great Traveling Gods
6	The Wonderful Stories of the Mysterious Plant God
7	An Expose of the Theocratic Earldom's Early Pirates
8	Sleeping Patterns of the Bugbear
9	The Trident: A Tutorial to Maintenance
10	The Subtle Truths of the Sky God
11	A Treatise of Thaumaturgy
12	Legendary Warlords
13	Virtues of the Revenge Gods
14	Hunting Habits of the Basilisk
15	A Magus' Text on Remedial Summoning
16	An Examination of the Kingdom's Cultural Annals
17	A Study of Basic Magical Arts
18	Essential Alchemy
19	Classic Evocations of the Journeyman
20	Theological Crimes in the Empire

Roll d4 times on the following table to find out "What's Inside."

d20 Roll	What's Inside
1-6	Nothing
7	Dog-eared pages marking pages with underlined passages
8	A shopping list written in code
9	Several love letters stuck haphazardly into the book
10	Hand-written notes in the margins totally unrelated to the subject of the book
11	Personal notes in the margins of several concurrent pages warning of a coming doomsday
12	A hand-written dedication in the front of the book
13	Bookmarks (d6) marking pages with errors
14	Triangular scraps of paper with notes in a foreign language
15	A document with a list of dates in the back of the book
16	A list of foreign locations in an archaic language
17	Three scraps of parchment in some kind of code that seem to have no connection
18	A list of birthdays in an archaic tongue secreted in the binding
19	A map of a local castle or keep, including secret doors and passageways
20	A map of a lost city tucked inside the binding

[The Stronghold 'Zine] Pushing Forward

Finished up an article today for Issue #3 of The Stronghold 'Zine.  I'm already getting excited for #3 and this is only the first article. It's a random table article, it's a lot of fun, and my test subjects have shown a lot of enthusiasm for it. It'll be a bit less "repressed 14-year-old gamer" than those in the last two issues, but I think it will please both crowds.

But as I said, it's only article #1. My muse is fickle and doesn't want to work with me. It may be something I'm doing/not doing while I'm attempting to write.

Regardless of the lack of muse, push forward I must. And so I shall.


Meanwhile, there are still copies of Issues #1 and #2 available for purchase. Y'know, just to tide you over for a while.

[From the Mailbag] Mixed Bag of Goodies

An odd day today, deep in the throes of some manner of food allergy--dinner last night got contaminated somehow.... All day today the symptoms have been getting worse; currently I’m feeling like a bad case of the flu. Body aches, dizziness, nausea...then add in the bloating, excessive gas, and “bodily excretions” and I’m down for the count.

Fortunately, we were able to have some family fun today before the symptoms really set their claws into my midsection. My oldest two kids have been at a Youth Conference since Wednesday--a spiritual retreat for the youth of my church, in which all the youth of a certain region gather together for inspiration and spiritual education & growth. Did it myself as a teenager without complaint. This one was held at a two-year junior college 110 miles south of our home; for a variety of reasons, we decided to circumvent the norm (the church youth leaders usually convey them home) by driving down early in the morning with my youngest two in tow, pick up the eldest two, and do some “daycation” day trip stuff. Whenever we head that far south, we usually take the interstate, but when we head home, we tend to take the old state highway back up. This takes you through some quaint little towns and farm communities and is a restful, scenic trip.

This time around, we stopped at a town’s “Art and History Museum”--mostly because the wife’s ancestors helped found the town and I wanted her to have the chance to see some pictures or artifacts from her family and show them to the kids. Sure enough, her ancestors’ names were on a plinth right outside the converted mansion, and then in several of the rooms and nooks were artifacts and pictures of her relations, including a steamer trunk, baby clothes, and musical instruments of her relations that came across the plains with the early Mormon immigrants. Got some great pictures for the family album and the kids had fun.

(Incidentally, I loved the layout of this house and quickly sketched out some ideas to use in a future map. Inspiration is everywhere!)

By this time, the symptoms were grabbing hold and we still had another 60-odd miles to travel. Much to my delight when we arrived home, Fed Ex had delivered some books I’ve been anxiously awaiting. There’s nothing better than learning back-ordered books have finally come into stock and been shipped out. I hate my money hanging out there doing someone else some good while I wait and wait without product.

The only mitigating factor to my happiness (besides my physical ailments) was the state of the package. Noble Knight Games has always served me well in the past, without serious complaint. Even when I had an OOP miniature arrive broken, they rectified the situation immediately. But this was ridiculous.

Rather than using a small box, or even a padded envelope, to protect my shipment, they essentially “flat-packed” the books within a collapsed shipping box. The ends were taped with packing tape (except for slits on the side, which would allow dirt, etc., into the package).

Inside, they were wrapped in layers of butcher paper for padding. Not bubble wrap, or even packing peanuts (like if they were in a normally assembled box) I'm not exactly sure what the "cushion rating" is of butcher paper wrapped around objects, but apparently that's what my order rated.Now, when I got them out, they WERE held in one large plastic zipper-close-type bag. This would have mollified my concerns re: damage, except that the main bag WAS NOT SEALED (See below). This, boys and girls, in case you were not aware, drastically reduces the protective power of a plastic zipper-close-type bag. Sigh.

 But here’s what I received, with a squeal or two of delight from me.

First off, two titles from Expeditious Retreat Press--Monster Geographica: Marsh & Aquatic and Monster Geographica: Forest. These will fit well with the Monster Geographica: Underground volume that I already have in the collection. While I don’t really like the layout of these books (they’re arranged alphabetically under respective CR rather than like traditional monster manuals AND they don’t use the easier-to-read “one page, one monster” format) and they don’t have any artwork, they’re still (a) bestiaries and (b) full of fun, different, and mean critters. Plus, hey, MONSTERS, am I right?

Next was a volume for which I’ve searched for the past year: the Encyclopedia of Villains from Fast Forward Entertainment. Now, I’ve seen/heard lots of complaints about FFE, and some of that is justified and has kept me from picking up some various titles in the past. This one, however, comes recommended by +Tim Shorts  and with good reason. I think Tim likes NPCs about as much as I do...which is a lot. But, for all my devotion to 3.x, I will admit that statblocks and rolling up NPCs is far from my favorite gaming activity. I’ll jump at any chance I get to grab hold of some pre-gen NPCs; add in the fact that it’s an entire book of NPCs and that there’s a wide range of CRs: added bonus. Then add in backstory, associations, maps, etc.? WINNING PRODUCT RIGHT HERE.

I grabbed a copy of Arcana Unearthed because I like Monte Cook’s work, I like the Book Of Experimental Might, and it has some intriguing options/alternative rules. Plus, it was less than $5 and in great shape, so that certainly didn’t hurt.

Finally, the piece de resistance: Armory’s 30-Sided Dice Gaming Tables. I’ve always wanted a copy, but never found one in good shape at the right time. This time I lucked out. I love tables, especially d30 tables, and these are all useful, both at the table and for world-building. The contents take me back to a more innocent time of gaming and of life. The tables are printed around random black and white line images of lead miniatures from various distributors. The back cover is an advertisement for Armory’s 30-sided dice and “dice inking pens.” The text itself is typed out in classic dot-matrix Courier font; I’d use it in my own Stronghold ‘Zine for nostalgia if I didn’t hate the look of Courier so much. But the quaintness and nostalgia was definitely palpable, and the typos (“I do not have to many” jumped right off the page at me) added to the feeling that this really was printed in someone’s basement (or after hours on the shared work printer and then copied under some sucker’s customer code) and took me back decades. Even though this one came bagged and boarded for protection and storage, I think it’s going to see some use.

So, the day balances out. I have some reading material for when I curl up in the fetal position from the physical effects of my allergies. That’s always a good thing. At least I’m done with Issue #2 of the Stronghold ‘Zine until it comes back from my proof readers. Plus, tomorrow is Free RPG Day, one of my most favorite days of the year (although from the website it appears that several companies will be sending out the same re-tread free items from last year (and the year before, etc.)).

Oddly enough, I received shipping notices for this package and a package from another company on the same day; this one from Wisconsin and the other from Missouri. Both sent Fed Ex. Both sent using the same shipping option. Both hit the local distribution hub on the same day. The Missouri package says that the scheduled delivery on the other package is Wednesday, the 24th.  Hmm. Either some higher power doesn’t want me to explode from over-happiness today, or there’s something about Wednesday that requires some “Found Stuff” happiness. I’m not sure which option is more frightening.

Wherein the Effects of Unfortunate Pizza are Experienced

I have to admit that some of my best ideas are the fault of Tim Shorts over at Gothridge Manor. Today's is no exception. Over on Google+ he mentioned he'd had leftover pizza for lunch. It was good enough, apparently, to be "stat-worthy"...if he hadn't eaten it all. He followed that up with a list of XP awards, as follows.

I'm gonna go with 25xp per slice. And additional 50xp if you can eat the whole pizza in one setting. However you'll need to make a save vs. heartburn. [Aside: for my PF/3.x readers, I'd suggest a Fortitude Save, DC 16. End aside.] A failure means you'll have a -1 on your rolls when interacting with others.

Then Mr. Jason Zavoda (from Hall of the Mountain King) provided the kicker: If you fumble you have to roll on the flatulence table.

Well, how could I let that gauntlet lay untouched on the ground? Answer: I couldn't, not without bringing great shame to the OSR Blogging Community at large.

And so I present to you: The Flatulence Table: (Note: roll once on each table for each failed save.)

Flatulence Table 1: Severity

d20 Roll	Area of Effect	Description
1-3	Silent But Deadly	Completely silent, but oh, so potent.
4-6	Mousey	Nothing but a little squeak. Sounds like a shoe with a bad sole.
7-12	Flapper	There’s some flapping cheekage. Sounds a little moist.
13-15	Trumpet	Proud, triumphant. Heraldic, even. Nothing to be ashamed of.
16–18	Elephantine	Trumpet, but more so. Worthy of a grass-fed giant mammal.
19-20	Weapon of Mass Destruction	The truly epic, in all respects: sound, smell, and yes--taste.

Flatulence Table 2: Side Effect

d6 Roll	Side Effect
1-2	Gas only. No effect.
3-5	Shart. A little s**t, a little fart.
6	Total Trouser Betrayal.

For Area of Effect: roll 1d20 x 5' for each occurrence.

As usual, free for your use. Just drop me a note to let me if and how you used it, and to what effect.

Random Table: Picking

In celebration and honor of having my first set of Zocchi dice, I've created my first d2 and d5 tables, for use, obviously, with my new d2 and d5.

Plus, I need to pay a little Joesky tax. OK, a LOT of Joesky tax. Call this a down-payment on my tax payment plan.

Your characters come up against an NPC. He's a bumpkin and a character. You need a little bit more color...flavor...to his description. You're wracked with indecision. I have you covered.

NPC Nose Picking Table 1: Nostril

d2 Roll	Nostril
1	Left
2	Right

NPC Nose Picking Table 2: Hand

d2 Roll	Hand Used
1	Left
2	Right

NPC Nose Picking Table 3: Finger

d5 Roll	Finger Used
1	Thumb
2	Ring Finger
3	Forefinger
4	Middle Finger
5	Pinkie

You're welcome.

Disease Types, Causes, and Other Nasty Stuff

After yesterday's post on Disease Names, I was kinda stuck for a topic for today. Then, this morning, as I was riding our local version of the Mobile Germ Dissemination and Incubation Unit (otherwise known as "public transportation" or "light rail") I was suddenly somehow gifted with inspiration. So, without further ado, I present the expanded set of Disease Tables. Disease Table 1: Disease Names was presented yesterday.

Disease Table 2: Disease Attributes

d12 Roll	Attributes
1	Fatal
2	Near-fatal
3	Maiming
4	Minor
5	Mundane
6	Arcane
7	Divine
8	Curable – Mundane Only
9	Curable – Magical Only
10	Curable – Mundane / Magical
11	Incurable
12	Roll again for two total attributes (re-roll duplicates)

With every disease, you need to know what part of the body is affected, right? Well, there’s a table for that, too. Just roll 1d4 first to find out just how much of the body is affected.

Disease Table 3: Area of Effect

d20 Roll	Area of Effect
1	Eye
2	Ear
3	Nose
4	Mouth
5	Throat
6	Head
7	Face
8	Skin
9	Arm
10	Hand
11	Leg
12	Knee
13	Foot
14	Stomach/Guts
15	Arse
16	Genitals
17	Chest or Back
18	Blood
19	Brain
20	Hair

When your PC slaps his forehead and says, “Fine. Lay it on me. What’s the sickness cause?” you can quickly respond with a side-effect or two (or three) for their gaming and role-playing pleasure.

Disease Table 4: Side-Effects / Presentation

d20 Roll	Area of Effect
1	Swelling
2	Peeling skin
3	Pus / Pustules
4	Scaling
5	Deafness
6	Loss of voice
7	Bleeding
8	Coughing / Suffocation
9	Vomiting
10	Rotting / Liquification
11	Growths / Hump
12	Sweating
13	Chills
14	Dizziness
15	Loss of body part (Roll on Table 3)
16	Uncontrolled blushing
17	Shaking
18	Muscle / Joint Aches
19	Roll again for two total effects (re-roll duplicates and 19-20)
20	Re-roll twice for three total effects (re-roll duplicates and 19-20)

And you’re going to need to know just how long it takes for that first PC to succumb to your deadly little case of the gomboo, right? Never fear. I have you covered.

Disease Table 5: Incubation Period

d10 Roll	Incubation Period
1	1d6 hours
2	1d12 hours
3	1d20 hours
4	2d12 hours
5	1d2 days
6	1d4 days
7	1d6 days
8	2d6 days
9	1d12 days
10	2d12 days

The next thing you know, the sniffle-suffering PC is going to ask just how long this little bug is going to hang around his system slinging snot. At least, under normal circumstances. What are you going to tell him?

Disease Table 6: Duration of Disease

d12 Roll	Length of Illness
1	1d6 hours
2	1d12 hours
3	1d20 hours
4	2d12 hours
5	1d2 days
6	1d4 days
7	1d6 days
8	2d6 days
9	1d12 days
10	2d12 days
11	1d30 days
12	Lifetime

Disease Name Table

I made my first dice purchase of the new year. A d30. I have a handful of d30s in my collection already and Heaven knows I don’t use them often enough to warrant another one. This one, however, caught my eye. It is, perhaps, the ugliest die I’ve seen. Certainly it rivals the ugliest in my collection, at any rate. It was so ugly it called out to me, asking me–nay, begging me–to pick him up and take him home. He was desperate to avoid the lengthy, lingering, rotting death most likely awaiting him in the “random” dice bin ignored and shunned by passers-by for years to come. Lest you think I’m exaggerating, I’ve attached a picture of the poor homely waif.

Now, did I lie?

In his honor I cobbled together a quick d30 table. I say “in his honor”–this is the truth. Based on his nauseating ugliness, the d30 table below is an aid to the sandbox DMs out there for creating disease names on the fly. It was a quickie, and admittedly, will create some fairly ridiculous results at times, but it beats sitting behind the screen resorting to “the Plague” once again when your players ask you what disease afflicts the sickening, deformed NPC on the street in front of them.

Just roll your d30 three times and combine the results. Feel free to share your favorites–or ideas for an expanded table–in the comments below.

Disease Table 1: Disease Name

d30 Roll	Initial Descriptor	Secondary Descriptor	Tertiary Descriptor
1	Serious	Limping	Rot
2	Tender	Oil	Crud
3	Depressed	Tin	Mold
4	Obese	Cracked	Discharge
5	Lethal	Flowering	Pustule
6	Hesitant	Smoky	Cough
7	Creeping	Stretched	Boils
8	Bloody	Hairy	Vomit
9	Full	Soupy	Snot
10	Crouching	Slippery	Sneezing
11	Sharp	Rolling	Slopes
12	Malicious	Grotesque	Scourge
13	Languid	Spotted	Consumption
14	Charming	Sweeping	Scales
15	Hushed	Craven	Death
16	Lush	Pale	Shakes
17	Screeching	Broken	Weights
18	Wretched	Fiery	Crack
19	Moaning	Sticky	Rays
20	Deep	Snotty	Blood
21	Conscious	Tiny	Flesh
22	Mindless	Messy	Jelly
23	Little	Laughing	Stops
24	Rampant	Falling	Obstruction
25	Confused	Red	Pox
26	Fluffy	Weeping	Rolls
27	Steady	Gripping	Weakness
28	Sloppy	Dry	Dysfunction
29	Lazy	Grey	Warts
30	Cloudy	Glistening	Malaise

**Edited to add table name and number.**

O is for Opening Doors

As some of you may know, I've been running a game for my rugrats.

And by "running" I mean off-and-on for over a year whenever we get around to it.

It's been a lot of fun--we've played into the wee morning hours in our trailer; we've played during power outages, we've played both with and without Dad using his laptop for DMing.

I've been using the dumbed-down version of 3.5 released as the "Basic Set" (the 2006 version). This box set contains an "introductory version" with miniatures, dice, and dungeon map tiles. It also contains a sheet of tokens representing doors, chests, treasure, etc.

The kids have loved it and I've enjoyed it as a cut-down version of the rules; it allows me, as DM, to implement and introduce additional rules and features of the game as we go.

One frustrating thing, though: as always, the Wizards of the Coast team do an amazingly bad job of consistent and intelligible detail.

F is for Found Items

Often I like to add a little flavor to my campaigns, as well as a little mystery to my players’ lives, by including in treasure troves or other tantalizing places certain little “found” items. Very often these items look like trash or useless little bits of flotsam on an NPC’s desk. Usually they are exactly that. But when you’re operating in a sandbox environment, it is sometimes amazing what these items will turn into, either on your own inspiration or your players’.

I have had players carry some of these little bits and pieces, just a random entry on their character sheet, for weeks and months (and on one occasion, a year) until one session they look up and say, “This little bag of fingernails.... Is it possible that it belonged to NPC X?” or “Is it possible to do Z with it?” and suddenly an entirely new window of the game opens up and you have a new adventure hook.

In one instance a player carried around a small bag filled with little bells. The character used these one night, spreading them across the floor of a cavern as an alarm so that they group could rest. The wandering monster entered the cavern, stepped on the bells which immediately jingled, the party awoke, and melee ensued.

Another option is to use them as Evil DM Fodder. In other words, they're completely useless items. However, if you plan correctly and present them in just the right way it's possible to convince your players that these little bits of detritus actually have value. Take advantage of the player mindset that says, "Everything the DM does, says, or gives us has a purpose." Take that mindset and run with it. You'll have the players thinking that the lump of dried cow dung they found has mystical properties when it was nothing more than part of an NPC's tinder box.

Hey, DMs are allowed to have fun too.

So, for your DMing pleasure and enjoyment, I present the following tables:

The First Step

"Who are you?"

Well, that's a long story. So far as this blog is concerned, and so far as the interest of time allows, suffice it to say this: I am a Gamer.