A place wherein this Dwarven Cleric can share his love of maps, dice, miniatures, and all things involving gaming and general geekery--not to mention the occasional witty non-gaming observations--whilst escaping from the humdrum existence of his routine Terran existence.

Hail and Well Met, fellow traveler! May my Stronghold provide a place for enlightenment and amusement, and somewhere to keep your dice dry. Enter and rest awhile.

13 May 2014

Gothridge Manor Random Purchase Table

Anyone who's read my blog or Gothridge Manor for any sizable length of time knows that I have a, well, let's say "penchant" for accidentally purchasing multiple copies of the Manor.

Now, see, I say it's because the Manor is such a great product that I need multiple copies of this awesome 'zine: you know, one to use and one to keep pristine. Tim, however, believes it's due to a mental deficiency on my part and feels it necessary to mock me over this. Actually, I think it's a mental deficiency too, and I openly mock it as well.

This all stems back to, I believe, the release of the Manor #2. I'm sure Tim can correct me if I'm remembering incorrectly. After reading Manor #1, I promptly sent the cash for a subscription to the Manor. And, apparently, promptly forgot about the subscription. Upon the release of Manor #2, I sent more cash to Tim for that issue as well.

Hilarity ensued.

Well, the same thing just happened this weekend. Tim released Manor #6. I posted a couple comments on Gothridge Manor's publication announcements suggesting I was getting ready to send cash to Tim for the purchase of Manor #6. Shortly I received the following in my e-mail:

Boric...YOU HAVE A SUBSCRIPTION...lol...even my wife is laughing.


Sigh. So, as any good lawyer knows, you have to start damage control, right? So I prepped the following d12 table. Tim and I thought I needed to share this with the world at large just in case anyone else ever suffers from the same mental lapse.

Gothridge Manor Random Purchase Excuses

d12 Roll
Reason
1
Hey...in all fairness, it's been 6 months, right? So, it must be YOUR fault.
2
Ill do just about ANYTHING for multiple copies.
3
I have an Int of 6 and a WIS of 9.
4
I failed my SAN check.
5
I was under the effect of a charm dwarf spell.
6
Hey, I'm senile. Cut me a break.
7
I'm single-handedly trying to pay for the Lemon Fart Tart Room.
8
It's all a ploy to help drum up interest and business for the Manor! (I'm the "crippled" plant in the snake-oil audience.)
9
I'm looking for the Golden Ticket.
10
Wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world?
11
Dude...where's my car?
12
A Teen-Age Illithid Ate My Brain.

5 comments:

Tim Shorts said...

lol I may be the only person that finds this funny, but I think it's funny.

Digital Orc said...

Very funny!

Chris C. said...

Pretty darned funny indeed, Lol.

The Happy Whisk said...

The first one is the best. Very funny stuff.

Boric G said...

And THAT sound, ladies and gentlemen, was the sound of Tim going under the bus.... ROFL, Whisk.

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