So yesterday in the mail I received a pleasant surprise: Minis!
I know, I know. "MORE minis?" you're thinking.... Well, so is my wife, I'm sure.
But these weren't my fault. Not at all. It was y'all's fault. Or at least a select few of you. And I'm offering you all up on the Altar of Doom as sacrifices. Nothing personal, you understand.
This first one I blame on Christian over at Loviatar 'Zine and Destination Unknown, as well as his cohort in art: Jay Penn. It's all their fault, they did it, they forced me to buy the thing. You see, I've never had an otyugh mini before. Never really saw the need for one. On second thought, I guess that I shouldn't really blame Christian. His 'zine was just the delivery system. I think it's really Jay Penn's fault. You see, I was happy in my otyugh-less existence -- at least fairly so -- and then Loviatar #8 came out. With this on the cover. By Jay Penn.
Jay's magnificent artwork doomed me. And my wallet. I simply HAD to have an otyugh. (According to the scene as written, I suppose I really should have purchased more than one. However, even in my mini-frenzy I have a general idea of my monetary limits. That, and there's always next month.) So... Dear.... if you're reading this, it's all Jay's fault. And I suppose Christian's too, if you really need to include him. But mostly Jay's.
Jason Sholtis takes all the blame for the next mini out of the box. I suppose I could blame his cohort as well, John Larrey. Sigh. OK. I guess they share the blame. You're off the hook a little, Jason. Or you're sharing the hook. Something. Whatever. But this mini is your fault. You see, Jason went and published a little 'zine adventure entitled Zogorion: Lord of the Hippogriffs. I picked it up and read through it once. I have to confess, I giggled. Several times. Not because it was funny or there was anything wrong with it. It was an evil giggle. It was a DM-giggle, at the thought of running my platers through this. My wife will probably remember that evening, because she looked at me with great concern whilst I was giggling. I read it through a second time. I giggled even more. I started plotting where in my campaign world this could happen. And when. (Not in a rail-roady fashion, but just some potential plot hooks.) On my way home from the office the next day I stopped in at the FLGS and found a booster pack of DDM minis, from the Dangerous Delves set, with this hippogriff proudly displayed as the "visible" mini.
I had never seen this booster set before. All the other Dangerous Delves sets, yes. But never the hippogriff. I took it as a sign: it was meant to be.
And then I looked at my minis. I already had a griffon from the Dungeons of Dread boosters that I could use as a hippogriff. But I clearly needed a third beastie, just for the opening scene of Zogorion alone. So I simply HAD to order another one. And as purty as the Arcadian Hippogriff is (also DDM), it had to match. Right? Right. So, again...it wasn't my fault.
Sorry Jason...and John.
Now...the last items out of the box. I'm not sure who takes the blame. I'm sure it isn't me, though. Honest. Someone....Somewhere out there....Ah, yes. THAT'S who it was. Jamie over at For a Fistful of Coppers posted a while ago about "cheap minis." In that post he referenced the DDM Warape mini. I'd seen the figure before; I'd considered buying it. Always before I'd been able to reason my way out of the purchase. But something about seeing it this time? Yeah. I was hooked. And then I found a good deal on them. I have several now. Alright, I have five.
Why do I have five? Well, I think I'd like to have a band of warapes following me around in real life. Think about how much easier it would be to get a seat on public transit if you had a warape with you? So, yeah. A band of warapes. Or an orangu-posse. That'd be cool too. Either one.
But at any rate, it's Jamie's fault, dear, that I now have a band of warapes. (Sorry, Jamie. Really.)
And so readers, I just want to make it clear again: None of these purchases were my fault. None of them.
That's my story, anyway.