A while back, Aaron over at A Paladin in Citadel posted up some Pathfinder mini pictures and offered some of his extras up for sale. Well, we bargained and bartered and came to an agreement. Then he waited patiently while my children got fed. Then he sent them off and endured my panicked reaction when I forgot they were coming from Canada and was worried about our terrific US Postal Service having possibly lost the package.
I am not joking. I am telling on myself here and offering myself up on the Altar of Ridicule.
But for all my impatience and imagined travail, a nice little package arrived on my office desk today. Filled with pre-painted plastic goodness! And he even threw in some unexpected extras! Here's what he sent:
- Watch Guard, #8 Heroes and Monsters Pathfinder Battles (x1)
- Watch Officer, #9 Heroes and Monsters Pathfinder Battles (x1)
- Half-elf Cleric, #19 Heroes and Monsters Pathfinder Battles (x1)
- Dwarf Fighter, #20 Heroes and Monsters Pathfinder Battles (x1)
- Gnome Fighter, #22 Heroes and Monsters Pathfinder Battles (x1)
- Dire Rat, #23 Heroes and Monsters Pathfinder Battles (x2)
- Spectre, #26 Heroes and Monsters Pathfinder Battles (x1)
- Seelah, Human Paladin, #27 Heroes and Monsters Pathfinder Battles (x1)
**Funny story about Canada.... My office has recently discovered that our phone number somehow has been printed on the letterhead for a phone company up in Canada. We receive at least a phone call a week now from Canadian residents about their phone service. We received one this past week from an elderly woman who said she was "calling about her phone bill." My secretary suspected this was another Canada-call and to verify, asked the lady if she was from Canada. "NO!" was the vehement response. "I'm from Ontario!" We were all a bit confused by this response, as well as entertained. Maybe I'm missing something upon which my friends up North could enlighten me.
Now, my Joesky Tax:
The Altar of Ridicule
Most outsiders do not know that there are a small number of dwarves who actually worship Garl Glittergold, typically a Gnomish deity. These dwarves are usually gemsmiths and miners of precious stones who revere the stones above precious metals, forge craft, stonework, and other revered Dwarven works.
Within these communities of Garl Glittergold's Dwarven followers are secret shrines in which uniquely Dwarven rites of worship are performed. One such rite involves the use of the Altar of Ridicule. Each Altar is a simple affair made of stone blocks forming a 5' cube, offset so that the four corners face the cardinal directions with the congregation at the south. On three of the four upper corners are rounded stone spikes pointing upward; the south corner is unadorned.
Garl Glittergold appreciates wit and a good sense of humor. Among these gem-loving dwarves, the art of "the Roast" has been perfected. Pointing out one another's foibles in a humorous way is an art form. However, in order to preserve the comraderie and closeness within the Stronghold as a whole it is preferred that dwarf-on-dwarf ridicule be avoided.
To that end were these enchanted Altars constructed and ensorcelled. The subject of the ritual -- the guest of honor, a.k.a., the Honored Soul (or "Cracked Diamond" as he is commonly referred) -- stands upon the Altar. The Altar itself then begins hurling insults at the subject, in full view and hearing of the congregation. (See HERE for inspiration.) Five insults in all are hurled; with each insult the subject is required to make an increasingly difficult Will Save, beginning with a DC 15 Save and increasing by 1, up to a DC 19 Save. For each successful Save, the subject is imbued with an increasing aura of confidence and others look upon him with a more favorable eye. This aura acts as inspire courage for all allies within line of sight of the subject; each successful Will Save counts as an additional +1 modifier to inspire courage effect, up to a maximum of +5. This effect lasts for 10 rounds per +1 bonus (maximum 50 consecutive rounds), so long as the ally remains within line of sight of the subject (or vice versa).
For each failed Will Save, the individual suffers a temporary -1 modifier to his Charisma score (maximum -5). That negative modifier lasts for 10 rounds per -1 bonus (maximum 50 consecutive rounds).
Once an individual has been subjected to the Altar of Ridicule, he cannot receive further benefit of any sort from the Altar for a period of at least one month.